Love is in the Air! Happy Valentine’s Day! 

On this wonderful day, I want to share my hopes for you and your relationships.

I hope today you and your significant other celebrate your relationship and the journey you have been on together.

I hope today you both cherish the moment, cherish today. Take the opportunity to show your love, appreciation, and fondness with each other.

I hope you look back on your relationship today and remember good memories – first dates, special places, and events that have special shared meaning.

Remember that to keep your relationships strong, it takes work. Your relationships should be celebrated 365 days of the year, not just today! There are sweet things to do throughout the year to enhance and build upon the foundation of your relationship.

Author and public speaker on marriage, family, and relationships, Gary Chapman, demonstrates this in his work and making sure you and your partner are speaking the same “Love Language”. He separates qualities of love into 5 “Love Languages”: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

Keep reading to learn more about Gary Chapman’s “Love Languages” and my suggestions on ways to implement and celebrate your love 365 days of the year.

Words of Affirmation:

Kind, encouraging words to and about the other person and their contributions to the relationship. It is important to be specific – while “I love you” is a strong, loving statement, “I love how considerate you are when you do ___” can be even stronger. Other ways to demonstrate Words of Affirmation, tell them what their contribution to the relationship means to you, tell them what characteristics they have that you admire, or tell them what they do well in the relationship (ex: “I love how you know the exact right moment to give me a hug when I am upset”).

It is important to be specific – while “I love you” is a strong, loving statement, “I love how considerate you are when you do ___” can be even stronger.

Quality Time:

A personal favorite! Spending uninterrupted time focusing on each other and making memories. No phones, no electronics, and no kids. (Family quality time should be spent too, but that is a topic for another article) Need some ideas?

Go on a Date Night: Go out somewhere special for dinner, or go out for drinks, coffee, or ice cream. If you’re not a “go out” type of people, that is okay too. Instead, cook dinner together. Plan for a special meal, go shopping together for ingredients, and enjoy the experience of cooking. Or unleash your inner child and order takeout, build a fort with pillows and blankets, and eat the takeout in the fort while joking and talking about “the good stuff”.

Outing to Somewhere Special and/or New: Search Groupon, Living Social, or other discount sites looking for a new event to try like a Zoo, Museums, an Amusement Park, a Festival, etc. Be a tourist in your own city. Afterwards, talk about the event as if a critic. Was it 3 out of 5 stars? What did you like? What didn’t you like?

Play A Board Game Together:  (Not monopoly, it’s the end all of relationships…well, okay, maybe a bit of an extreme reaction to it, but remember it is just a game. Don’t take it too seriously and have fun!) Bonus points if you play a cooperative game, like Pandemic or Flash Point, where you have to join together to save people or the world.

Have your partner teach you something new that they like and then vice versa.

Receiving Gifts:

A token to show your significant other that you were thinking of them. It doesn’t have to be of a great sum of money. Remember, it is the thought that counts.

“Gifts come in all sizes, colors, and shapes; some are expensive, and others are free… Gifts may be purchased, found, or made.” – Gary Chapman

Gift of self or of being present for major life events and crises is a gift in and of itself. Taking time away from work or other obligations for your partner means that they are a priority in your life.

Acts of Service:

Doing things for your significant other or with them in mind can be an act of love. These do not have to be major feats. There is no act of service too big or small. Again, remember it is the thought that counts.

For example, take their car to be filled up with gas and through a car wash when they don’t have the time to do it themselves. Have a meal ready and waiting when they get home after a particularly long shift at work. Maintain the house or do a chore they typically would do.

Physical Touch:

Physical Contact can be a powerful way to communicate love. A reassuring touch on the shoulder, holding hands, kisses, hugs, or even sexual intimacy can communicate our love and affection towards our significant other. It is important to communicate with your partner how you do and do not want to be touched and vice versa. Asking them specifically, “What is your favorite way for me to touch you?” can help shed light into what they need from you.

Getting to know your partner and their love languages is part of the journey.  Some people need only one or two of these to feel loved, others need all of them. Communication is vital, so ask your partner, “How can I best show you I love you?” If they don’t know, start experimenting with each other’s different love languages.

Try to show your love in new ways, talk about it, and make it a way to celebrate your love 365 days of the year!

Looking for ways to continue to enhance your relationship? Couple therapy is not just to resolve couple’s conflict. In just a brief number of sessions, Couples Counseling can help enhance an already strong relationships and re-energize your love and passion for one another. Interested in hearing more? Call today for a free 15-minute phone consultation of how I can help take your relationships to new heights. 980-349-8119

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

Towers Counseling Services| 120 Greenwich Road Charlotte, NC 28211

Ph: 980-349-8119