Category Archives: Therapy

Power of Nature on Big Emotions

Posted on by under Self Care, Therapy

 

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Power of Nature on Big Emotions

Nature is a powerful healing force for mental health concerns. Feeling anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, or angry? Struggling with intrusive or repetitive thoughts? Nature can help ease these emotions and their effects. Unfortunately, it will not completely “cure” these mental health concerns. Oftentimes, treating mental health is a process that requires work, support, and therapy over time.  

Nature offers us a temporary refuge or escape. Nature presents its calming peaceful presence, asking for nothing in return. Nature gives no judgment. Nature provides us with time for reflection. Lastly, Nature leaves us feeling rejuvenated, renewed, re-energized by connecting you to the world around you.

“Nature presents its calming peaceful presence, asking for nothing in return.”

Nature can be amazing on its own, or you can utilize it for a powerful, experiential grounding exercise. Grounding is a helpful technique often used in therapy to bring you into the present, or the “here-and-now”. It works by switching the focus of your brain from internal struggles towards the external environment.  Grounding can be beneficial when working on managing big emotions such as anxiety, depression, anger, or emotional pain.

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Nature Physical Grounding Exercise

It this exercise, you will need to place yourself in nature, somewhere that you will feel comfortable. A local park, nature preserve, hiking trail, beach, or even a nice backyard on a pretty day. You will focus your thoughts on becoming attuned to your  5 senses: sight, sound, feel, smell, and taste. You will need to keep your eyes open to stay in touch with the present and your surroundings. You are highly encouraged to walk around a bit and explore, if you feel comfortable.

Start by making a list of what your senses experience. It can be a mental list, no need to write it down.

Sights: Nature provides many gorgeous sights: the green of nature, the deep blue of a clear sky, smiling faces, couples sharing moments, mothers introducing their babies to the world, a lone traveler deep in thought, a driven runner focused and in sync with their rhythm and pace.

Sounds: Wind rustling in the trees and leaves, lapping of waves crashing on the shoreline, occasional song of distant birds, hum of an overhead plane or the constant of traffic on a nearby road, children laughing.

Feel: Warmth of the sun on your face, softness of the blades of grass underneath your feet, feel of sand in between your toes, the crunch of leaves, acorns, and mulch under your shoes.

Smell: Crispness of the fresh air, highly recognizable smell of saltwater at the beach, delicious aroma of a nearby food cart.

 Taste: Savor and enjoy the taste a special snack, piece of candy, or chocolate, or a picnic in the park. Okay, so you may need to plan ahead a bit for taste…unless you want to taste the grass and leaves, but I don’t recommend it! You can leave this step out completely – that is okay too!)

 Pro Tips to make this grounding exercise more effective:

  • Practice makes perfect. The more often you practice, the better you will get at grounding.
  • Practice for longer time periods. While this can be a quick 5-15 minute exercise, try to aim for 25+ minutes if time and comfort levels allow.
  • There is no right or wrong way to practice this exercise. Do not judge yourself during this exercise; this is reverting to internal and not focusing on external.

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While this might not be the right approach for everyone, it is helpful to so many more. If it didn’t work for you, don’t give up! Sometimes the awkwardness of the first time gets in the way. I encourage you to try it once more. Then, if it still doesn’t work, that is okay. Sometime people are not in a “safe place” emotionally for stillness. There are many other strategies, techniques, and tools that may work better. A therapist or counselor can help you identify and put into use alternative coping skills to manage big emotions.

I am speaking from my own personal experiences, my training’s, and my work with my clients. While I am not able to tell you the exact science behind why it works, if you look at art and writings you will see the reoccurring motifs of nature being connected to healing, our emotions, and soul. There is something to be said for what we feel but cannot be described in words.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

power-of-nature-on-big-emotions

Looking for help in managing your big emotions? Hoping to enhance your life and your relationships? Call today for a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if I might be of further assistance in helping you become a happier, healthier you 980-349-8119

TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES | 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211
PH: 980-349-8119

 

ISO: Happiness

Posted on by under Change, Self Care, Therapy

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In Search Of: Happiness. Have you ever heard someone say that they just want to be happy? Have you ever felt this way? Or maybe you are in search of: substitute another major life change or goal that you wanted to make for happiness. Let us take a closer look into the art of change and help you get a few steps closer towards accomplishing your goals.

What does “happiness” or your goal mean to you?

This is the first step: defining what your goal looks like to you. Be an investigative reporter and look into yourself. Investigate the Who, What, When, Where and Whys. Who can help? When does this need to be completed by? Why do you need to change? What specifically will you be doing differently? What will it sound like? What will you look like? Ask yourself these questions to make the image of your goal as defined and concrete as possible. That way you will have a clear idea of what you’re working towards!

What is in your way of accomplishing your goals?

The second step is identifying what is keeping you from that goal. What do you need to obtain your goal? Are you getting in your own way? Are you the one putting up walls or barriers? Sometimes self-doubt can be the biggest barrier of them all. Are you measuring yourself fairly? Sometimes we are comparing ourselves to others, when it is not very fair to compare our chapter 1 to their chapter 20.  By identifying what is keeping you from your goal, you will have a clear idea of what you’re working against! (P.S. – if you haven’t figured out, 66.66% of it is most likely you, your mindset, and barriers you have placed there, either real or imagined)

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What is your plan to meet your goal?

The third and most important step is to identifying a plan. How are you going to get what you need to address the barriers? How are you going to implement more of what you should be doing?  Often times, breaking down a task, especially one as big and abstract as “Happiness”, is essential. How can you break your task up into small manageable chunks? I’m talking baby steps here, folks! Just a small step that will take about 5-15 minutes of a time commitment each day.

Once you gain momentum, you can increase the time commitment towards your goal; however, be kind to yourself. When you are just starting on the journey to change, sometimes 5-15 minutes that is all the mental capacity we have left at the end of the day to devote towards a goal. Meet yourself where you are at and take it one step at a time.

Remember change and growth is a process.

Change will not happen overnight. If the drive and motivation to change is there, congratulations, you’ve already started on your journey and taken the first steps. Find ways to hold yourself accountable, be it a journal or a trusted friend.

It is important to note, some days making a change will come very easy. Other days, change will be slow, deliberate, and possibly taxing. Do not give up! The more you work towards it, the more you will get out of your investment of time, effort, and energy.

Lastly, never be afraid to ask for help. There are friends, family, or even professionals like therapists or counselors who are trained in helping you overcome your life struggles. There is no problem too big, or too small, to seek professional help. Seeking out help is an act of courage and recognizing that sometimes an unbiased third party may help give you the tools to become unstuck and offer new strategies to manage life’s struggles.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

Looking for help in your journey towards Happiness? Hoping to enhance your life and your relationships? Call today for a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if I might be of further assistance in helping you become a happier, healthier you 980-349-8119

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TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES | 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211
PH: 980-349-8119

Taking Care of You

Posted on by under Family/ Parenting, Relationships, Self Care, Therapy

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Taking Care of You

And Using Self Care with Intentionality

Every time you fly, you will hear the safety announcements and pay somewhat close attention.  But if the cabin was to lose pressure, would you remember what to do?

The airlines will tell you,

“If cabin pressure should change, panels above your seat will open, revealing oxygen masks; reach up and pull a mask towards you. Place it over your nose and mouth, and secure with the elastic band, that can be adjusted to ensure a snug fit. The plastic bag will not fully inflate, although oxygen is flowing. Secure your own mask first before helping others.”

Secure your own mask first before helping others. It may be tempting to put the mask on first for your son, daughter, or even helping your husband or wife, but do not do this. Do you know why this is? Because it is a known fact – you cannot help anyone else if you are unconscious due to lack of oxygen. That means before you help your loved ones, you must help yourself first. This improves the outcomes for everyone.

Relationships are very much like this. Taking care of yourself so that you can take care of others is essential. We juggle so many different roles and responsibilities these days. It is important that we remember to slow down, breath, and smell the roses every now and then.

Being present with our loved ones, be it our children, wives, husbands, friends, or other important people in our life, is what fills our relationships with the “good stuff”: Love, Laughter, Joy, and Memories.  But it is hard to be present if you are holding on to too much of that “other stuff”.

Taking only 5-10 minutes a day to do something for yourself is all that it takes to help your brain start packing up and shipping out “the other stuff”.

Five to ten minutes the day is the minimum amount of time, but feel free to spend more! There is no wrong way to practice self-care. Personalize it to you and your lifestyle. This is one of those investments that the more you put into it, the more you will get out of it.

Look for things that speak to your soul, things that offer comfort and joy. Oftentimes people find targeting their senses, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches, offers great benefits. A walk in nature, sitting in silence, deep breathing exercises, savoring the taste of a special tea or coffee, cooking a special meal, reciting special prayer, calming music, giving yourself a manicure, a warm shower or bath; these are just a few of thousands of different things you can do for you!

Now, you probably are already saying that you do something for yourself, but you must be intentional with the use of your time for self care. Do you do it because it part of your morning or evening routine?  Then, while technically yes it is something for you, it is not intentional “self care”.

Intentional self care is making the choice to do sometime outside of your routine, for you, to better you. Sounds a bit selfish? Not at all; it is mandatory maintenance that your body, mind, and soul needs to be able to work properly.

So, I ask you… How will you practice intentional self care today?

Looking for ways to continue to enhance your life and relationships? In just a brief number of sessions, We can work towards building and enhancing your relationships and leading to a happier, healthier you. Call Today for a Free 15-minute phone consultation of how I can help 980-349-8119

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

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TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES| 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211
PH: 980-349-8119

 

Investing in You! Why? Because Your Worth It! (Part 2)

Posted on by under Therapy

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What to Expect in Therapy

So you’ve made the big  decision to invest in yourself and explore therapy, but not sure what to actually expect in therapy?

In Part 2, I have included a brief idea of what to expect in your first appointment with me.

(Part 1 was about the benefits of investing in yourself by utilizing self-pay vs insurance.  Read that article here:  Investing in You! Part 1 )

First Session

First session is our most important session. This session, I learn how I can help you build stronger foundations.  You will be asked to fill out an intake form.  While it doesn’t teach me every thing there is to know about you, this form gives me just enough information to be able to work with you effectively and to understand important aspects of your life, concerns, and hopes for therapy.

In the first session, we will also discuss the logistics of therapy: scheduling, fees, payment, etc.  and sign any other required paperwork – this is the stuff that isn’t fun, but necessary for the professional relationship that we are entering.

*If discussed, Please have any pre-assigned paperwork that I have given you completed prior to attending first appointment.

How Does Therapy Work?

Therapy and Counseling are processes in which we work together in order to identify and work on the issues that you bring into our sessions. I utilize a collaborative approach between myself and my clients. To me, I believe this is an essential piece to the process as you are the expert in your life!

One of our first steps in this process is establishing what your goals for counseling are and creating a plan for treatment together. Through our work together, we will evaluate our progress and, if necessary, readdress our counseling plan, goals, and methods.

For this to be effective, it will require a commitment to therapy on both of our parts to work towards your identified goals. It requires your active involvement, willingness to change your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and openness to sometimes push yourself beyond your “comfort zone”.

How Long Does Therapy Take To Work?

Therapy is a process, and your understanding and appreciation of the therapeutic process is essential. Therapy does not work over night. There is no “magical pill” that fixes everything. There is no prescribed amount of time that it takes, as every person, situation and relationship is different. In general

Sometimes change will be relatively easy, other times changes maybe slow and deliberate. I will encourage you to stick and stay with the process, if there are concerns about the amount of time it is taking, process those feelings with me.

Who needs to attend?

It is up to you! While I am a Marriage and Family Therapist, it doesn’t mean that I am limited to only seeing couples and families. Engaging in your own personal growth therapy can be highly rewarding.

I will note that specific work towards Relationships/Couples/Premarital concerns, it is best completed with both individuals present; only one individual participating could lead to further dissatisfaction or dissolution of the relationship. Therapy may promote change in relationship patterns, which in turn may produce conflict and or unpredictable responses from others in your social systems. It is best we address any relationship concerns as a relationship!

Any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask me. I look forward to us working together and helping you reach newer heights of love and happiness in  your life.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

If you still haven’t decided if I am the right fit for you, call today for a free 15 minute phone consultation.  980-349-8119

 

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Towers Counseling Services| 120 Greenwich Road Charlotte, NC 28211
Ph: 980-349-8119

Investing in You! Why? Because You’re Worth It!

Posted on by under Therapy

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Investing in You!  Why?  Because You’re Worth It!

It is often a hard decision first and foremost to seek help. When your finally ready to make that big step you start the process. You seek out a therapist, you ask around, maybe even do a little research. Finally you find someone you think is going to work well for you and your needs/personality/ etc. and then as you are about to book an appointment you learn, they don’t accept your insurance and to see them you will have to do private pay.

You are all about ready to pump the brakes and go another route. But wait!! Consider a few things.  Many therapists these days are moving towards private pay agreements. Co-pays and deductibles are rising every day, or at least it seems!  Also, consider that not everyone’s plan covers mental health. What happens if you are of the many?

There are many benefits to private pay, as opposed to using insurance, such as:

  • You’re not limited to who is “In Network”.

You chose your therapist!

  • You’re not restricted by length or number of sessions covered.

You decide how often! You decide how long!

  • You’re not restricted to individual sessions. Insurances, for the most part, will not cover Premarital/ Couples/ or Family therapy.

You decide who needs to be involved for change to be made!

  • You’re not required to be given a mental health diagnosis for reimbursement.

You have more control of your private health information. Your services are entirely private. You decide if it needs to be release. Your information is entirely confidential. Nothing “goes on your record.”

  • Private Pay rates can be less than some specialist/mental health co-pays!

This doesn’t fit everyone’s need or lifestyle. But many therapists today are mindful of this and offering sliding scales. You’re worth investing in and the relationships in your life are worth investing in for a brighter future!

Please let me know if your interested in services, but your current financial situation would make it difficult for you to afford my standard fee. We can talk about possible alternatives. Reduced or sliding fee schedule is available on a case-by-case basis.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

Call today for a free 15 minute consultation and see if I am the right fit for your therapy needs!  980-349-8119

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TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES | 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211

PH: 980-349-8119