Tag Archives: Depression

The Teen Years: A Roller Coaster of Emotions

Posted on by under Family/ Parenting, Teen

teenswing

What is typical teen behavior anyways?

Being a teenager is rough. Parenting a teenager is rough too. I have yet to meet a parent who was “fully” prepared for the teen years. You can read up, learn from others’ experiences, etc., but until you experience it with your own teen, there is no amount of prep that will get you fully ready. Typically, teen years are hands down the hardest years, and each generation of teen has their own challenges. Ask any adult, and they most likely will have a story about their teen years and the struggles they went through.

teen-girlThere are a lot of expectations of teens these days. Expectations of success are even higher now than for teens of previous generations. There is a need to excel in advanced topics of science, technology, and mathematics, as well as being well-rounded individuals with other varied interests. On top of all of that, the expectations to think and act like the “adults” they are becoming. Children and teens have the innate desire to make the people they care about happy, and they thus internalize these expectations. Unhealthy thought patterns may begin to emerge, such as, “No one understands me,” “Things never go my way,” or, “I can’t do anything right.” Teens also experience the Tidal Wave of Emotions that accompanies their developmental changes.

When your teen is struggling with the Tidal Wave of Emotions, unhealthy thought patterns, and an inability to clearly communicate their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, this oftentimes leads to family conflicts, problems with school or peers, poor decision making, depression, anxiety, and defiant and disruptive behaviors. This is also the time period when they are at risk of being introduced to drugs, alcohol, sexual activity, and other risk-taking behaviors. All this on top of the typical stressors of transitioning into adulthood and preparing to leave home can be a lot to manage, even for the most prepared teens.

Signs of teens struggling to cope with increased life stressors can include: anxiety, depression, being more irritable that usual, poor school performance, and/or complete avoidance of school.

teen-boy

When does getting professional help make sense? Here are some things to consider:

  • It is typical for teens to display some mood swings or irritability when stressed, angry, or experiencing big changes like the start of new school year. It is of concern when irritability is pervasive, or ongoing, despite positive events or things in their life.
  • It is typical for teens to increasingly want their space and privacy. It is of concern is when teens completely withdraw and demonstrate poor connections to family, school, and/or peers.
  • It is typical for teen to catch a cold about 4-5 times per year. It is of concern if you notice that your teen has frequent somatic complaints, such as stomachaches, headaches, or not feeling well — that cannot be explained by illness. This can be stress related and a sign of struggling to cope.
  • It is typical for teens to feel overwhelmed. It is of concern when it leads to avoidance of school or other activities they once enjoyed, or making poor decisions that could have serious consequences.

How Therapy Helps Teens therapy-for-teens

Therapy helps by giving teens strategies and techniques to cope with life stressors and learn to “surf” the waves of big emotions, in a safe, private way; away from the eyes of peers and pressures of typical teen life. Therapy can help teens think critically about choices they are making, evaluate their strengths, areas for growth and development, and help empower them to create unique solutions to their own problems.

Therapy can assist teens in practicing and implementing self control by stopping to think about their actions and replacing unhealthy thought patterns with healthier ones. Lastly, therapy can increase their communication skills, which can make them more assertive and improve on their confidence and self-esteem.

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have over 5 years experience working with children, adolescents/teens, and their families. In my work with teens, I use systemic theory to guide treatment. In this approach, I recognize that each teen has unique “systems” that surround them, such as family, friends, and other important figures and organizations, which play a significant role in the development teens. I work collaboratively with the teen’s systems to address behaviors, interactional patterns, and ways to support change and positive development. This assists in building stronger relationships with the loved ones in their lives and creating happier, healthier teens.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

 

Looking for help for your teenager in managing life and teen stressors? Call today for a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if I might be of further assistance in helping your family. 980-349-8119

TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES | 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211

PH: 980-349-8119

Power of Nature on Big Emotions

Posted on by under Self Care, Therapy

 

tree

Power of Nature on Big Emotions

Nature is a powerful healing force for mental health concerns. Feeling anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, or angry? Struggling with intrusive or repetitive thoughts? Nature can help ease these emotions and their effects. Unfortunately, it will not completely “cure” these mental health concerns. Oftentimes, treating mental health is a process that requires work, support, and therapy over time.  

Nature offers us a temporary refuge or escape. Nature presents its calming peaceful presence, asking for nothing in return. Nature gives no judgment. Nature provides us with time for reflection. Lastly, Nature leaves us feeling rejuvenated, renewed, re-energized by connecting you to the world around you.

“Nature presents its calming peaceful presence, asking for nothing in return.”

Nature can be amazing on its own, or you can utilize it for a powerful, experiential grounding exercise. Grounding is a helpful technique often used in therapy to bring you into the present, or the “here-and-now”. It works by switching the focus of your brain from internal struggles towards the external environment.  Grounding can be beneficial when working on managing big emotions such as anxiety, depression, anger, or emotional pain.

pace-of-nature-emerson

Nature Physical Grounding Exercise

It this exercise, you will need to place yourself in nature, somewhere that you will feel comfortable. A local park, nature preserve, hiking trail, beach, or even a nice backyard on a pretty day. You will focus your thoughts on becoming attuned to your  5 senses: sight, sound, feel, smell, and taste. You will need to keep your eyes open to stay in touch with the present and your surroundings. You are highly encouraged to walk around a bit and explore, if you feel comfortable.

Start by making a list of what your senses experience. It can be a mental list, no need to write it down.

Sights: Nature provides many gorgeous sights: the green of nature, the deep blue of a clear sky, smiling faces, couples sharing moments, mothers introducing their babies to the world, a lone traveler deep in thought, a driven runner focused and in sync with their rhythm and pace.

Sounds: Wind rustling in the trees and leaves, lapping of waves crashing on the shoreline, occasional song of distant birds, hum of an overhead plane or the constant of traffic on a nearby road, children laughing.

Feel: Warmth of the sun on your face, softness of the blades of grass underneath your feet, feel of sand in between your toes, the crunch of leaves, acorns, and mulch under your shoes.

Smell: Crispness of the fresh air, highly recognizable smell of saltwater at the beach, delicious aroma of a nearby food cart.

 Taste: Savor and enjoy the taste a special snack, piece of candy, or chocolate, or a picnic in the park. Okay, so you may need to plan ahead a bit for taste…unless you want to taste the grass and leaves, but I don’t recommend it! You can leave this step out completely – that is okay too!)

 Pro Tips to make this grounding exercise more effective:

  • Practice makes perfect. The more often you practice, the better you will get at grounding.
  • Practice for longer time periods. While this can be a quick 5-15 minute exercise, try to aim for 25+ minutes if time and comfort levels allow.
  • There is no right or wrong way to practice this exercise. Do not judge yourself during this exercise; this is reverting to internal and not focusing on external.

inflate-platt

While this might not be the right approach for everyone, it is helpful to so many more. If it didn’t work for you, don’t give up! Sometimes the awkwardness of the first time gets in the way. I encourage you to try it once more. Then, if it still doesn’t work, that is okay. Sometime people are not in a “safe place” emotionally for stillness. There are many other strategies, techniques, and tools that may work better. A therapist or counselor can help you identify and put into use alternative coping skills to manage big emotions.

I am speaking from my own personal experiences, my training’s, and my work with my clients. While I am not able to tell you the exact science behind why it works, if you look at art and writings you will see the reoccurring motifs of nature being connected to healing, our emotions, and soul. There is something to be said for what we feel but cannot be described in words.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

power-of-nature-on-big-emotions

Looking for help in managing your big emotions? Hoping to enhance your life and your relationships? Call today for a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if I might be of further assistance in helping you become a happier, healthier you 980-349-8119

TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES | 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211
PH: 980-349-8119