Tag Archives: Therapy

Taking Care of You

Posted on by under Family/ Parenting, Relationships, Self Care, Therapy

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Taking Care of You

And Using Self Care with Intentionality

Every time you fly, you will hear the safety announcements and pay somewhat close attention.  But if the cabin was to lose pressure, would you remember what to do?

The airlines will tell you,

“If cabin pressure should change, panels above your seat will open, revealing oxygen masks; reach up and pull a mask towards you. Place it over your nose and mouth, and secure with the elastic band, that can be adjusted to ensure a snug fit. The plastic bag will not fully inflate, although oxygen is flowing. Secure your own mask first before helping others.”

Secure your own mask first before helping others. It may be tempting to put the mask on first for your son, daughter, or even helping your husband or wife, but do not do this. Do you know why this is? Because it is a known fact – you cannot help anyone else if you are unconscious due to lack of oxygen. That means before you help your loved ones, you must help yourself first. This improves the outcomes for everyone.

Relationships are very much like this. Taking care of yourself so that you can take care of others is essential. We juggle so many different roles and responsibilities these days. It is important that we remember to slow down, breath, and smell the roses every now and then.

Being present with our loved ones, be it our children, wives, husbands, friends, or other important people in our life, is what fills our relationships with the “good stuff”: Love, Laughter, Joy, and Memories.  But it is hard to be present if you are holding on to too much of that “other stuff”.

Taking only 5-10 minutes a day to do something for yourself is all that it takes to help your brain start packing up and shipping out “the other stuff”.

Five to ten minutes the day is the minimum amount of time, but feel free to spend more! There is no wrong way to practice self-care. Personalize it to you and your lifestyle. This is one of those investments that the more you put into it, the more you will get out of it.

Look for things that speak to your soul, things that offer comfort and joy. Oftentimes people find targeting their senses, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches, offers great benefits. A walk in nature, sitting in silence, deep breathing exercises, savoring the taste of a special tea or coffee, cooking a special meal, reciting special prayer, calming music, giving yourself a manicure, a warm shower or bath; these are just a few of thousands of different things you can do for you!

Now, you probably are already saying that you do something for yourself, but you must be intentional with the use of your time for self care. Do you do it because it part of your morning or evening routine?  Then, while technically yes it is something for you, it is not intentional “self care”.

Intentional self care is making the choice to do sometime outside of your routine, for you, to better you. Sounds a bit selfish? Not at all; it is mandatory maintenance that your body, mind, and soul needs to be able to work properly.

So, I ask you… How will you practice intentional self care today?

Looking for ways to continue to enhance your life and relationships? In just a brief number of sessions, We can work towards building and enhancing your relationships and leading to a happier, healthier you. Call Today for a Free 15-minute phone consultation of how I can help 980-349-8119

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

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TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES| 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211
PH: 980-349-8119

 

Investing in You! Why? Because Your Worth It! (Part 2)

Posted on by under Therapy

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What to Expect in Therapy

So you’ve made the big  decision to invest in yourself and explore therapy, but not sure what to actually expect in therapy?

In Part 2, I have included a brief idea of what to expect in your first appointment with me.

(Part 1 was about the benefits of investing in yourself by utilizing self-pay vs insurance.  Read that article here:  Investing in You! Part 1 )

First Session

First session is our most important session. This session, I learn how I can help you build stronger foundations.  You will be asked to fill out an intake form.  While it doesn’t teach me every thing there is to know about you, this form gives me just enough information to be able to work with you effectively and to understand important aspects of your life, concerns, and hopes for therapy.

In the first session, we will also discuss the logistics of therapy: scheduling, fees, payment, etc.  and sign any other required paperwork – this is the stuff that isn’t fun, but necessary for the professional relationship that we are entering.

*If discussed, Please have any pre-assigned paperwork that I have given you completed prior to attending first appointment.

How Does Therapy Work?

Therapy and Counseling are processes in which we work together in order to identify and work on the issues that you bring into our sessions. I utilize a collaborative approach between myself and my clients. To me, I believe this is an essential piece to the process as you are the expert in your life!

One of our first steps in this process is establishing what your goals for counseling are and creating a plan for treatment together. Through our work together, we will evaluate our progress and, if necessary, readdress our counseling plan, goals, and methods.

For this to be effective, it will require a commitment to therapy on both of our parts to work towards your identified goals. It requires your active involvement, willingness to change your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and openness to sometimes push yourself beyond your “comfort zone”.

How Long Does Therapy Take To Work?

Therapy is a process, and your understanding and appreciation of the therapeutic process is essential. Therapy does not work over night. There is no “magical pill” that fixes everything. There is no prescribed amount of time that it takes, as every person, situation and relationship is different. In general

Sometimes change will be relatively easy, other times changes maybe slow and deliberate. I will encourage you to stick and stay with the process, if there are concerns about the amount of time it is taking, process those feelings with me.

Who needs to attend?

It is up to you! While I am a Marriage and Family Therapist, it doesn’t mean that I am limited to only seeing couples and families. Engaging in your own personal growth therapy can be highly rewarding.

I will note that specific work towards Relationships/Couples/Premarital concerns, it is best completed with both individuals present; only one individual participating could lead to further dissatisfaction or dissolution of the relationship. Therapy may promote change in relationship patterns, which in turn may produce conflict and or unpredictable responses from others in your social systems. It is best we address any relationship concerns as a relationship!

Any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask me. I look forward to us working together and helping you reach newer heights of love and happiness in  your life.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

If you still haven’t decided if I am the right fit for you, call today for a free 15 minute phone consultation.  980-349-8119

 

got-your-back

Towers Counseling Services| 120 Greenwich Road Charlotte, NC 28211
Ph: 980-349-8119

Recognizing Stress in our Family

Posted on by under Family/ Parenting

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In today’s fast-paced society, pushed to multi-task life, there are many times when we become overwhelmed, frustrated, and less than our better selves.  I am guilty! There have been a few not-so-proud moments of letting my stress take form of some not-so-healthy (or helpful) behaviors in my lifetime. Truth be told, the majority of us are guilty of this, and so are our family members. We are human!

Being able to recognize and understand when we and our family members are stressed are important first steps. Being able to recognize and quickly intervene can help steer ourselves in a different direction and can have the biggest impact on stress reduction.

However, we often do not always recognize stress for what it is. Often times, we dismiss it as anger, bad behaviors/tantrums, sadness, or we minimize what we or others around us are going through and think that we can push through it. Here’s a secret: unless you are a robot, we all have a certain level of stress that we can manage. It’s called our Distress Tolerance Level. Your Mind, Body, and Soul functions can all start to shut down if you exceed your tolerance level for too long.

Signs of stress that we might easily overlook may include:

  • Your son/daughter having a full-blown tantrum in a middle of a store for no reason.
  • A loved one becoming detached, quiet, and very much unlike themselves.
  • Yourself feeling distracted, scattered, and forgetting things you normally would remember.

An easy way to prevent these system overloads is to “reboot” your system before you go into overload! Early intervention is key; here are a few early intervention strategies for your children, your loved ones, and even yourself!mother-and-son

For Your Children – Engage your children into activities with lowered external stimulation. Stimulants for children can be things that get them excited, when they are expected to perform at a certain level (i.e. school tests/ performances), pressure to do well or comply with directives, or do things outside of  their comfort zone. Examples of activities you can engage your children into can include: Taking a walk outside, reading, listening to comforting soothing music (remember soothing, not high energy, which could have the reversed effect of what your looking for).

For Your Loved Ones – Engage your partner in enjoying the current moment.  Take time to share a favorite meal together, watch a favorite movie, take time and enjoy doing a household chore, like doing the dishes or laundry together, or just spend some time chit-chatting reconnecting with them and what is going on in their lives. Be sure your loved one knows why you are doing what you are doing, and do not just go to them mid-task. Be on the same page with them of intent and purpose. Tell them, “I would like to spend some time together. Can I help you with… or lets do…” (Bonus: because both you and your loved one get the stress relieving benefits)

For Your Self – Self Love is one of the most effective holistic treatments of stress and anxiety! Take 5 minutes of your day, go to a mirror, and say kind things about yourself to yourself. For example: “I am Smart! I am Funny! I am Creative!” Or take time to think and reflect on an inspiring song, quote, or prayer that has meant something to you in your life. Or create a list of things that you are looking forward to in your near future!

There are so many ways to reboot your systems; get creative and make it personal to you and your family. One measure of if your intervention is working is if it makes you happy, laugh, or smile.

Also remember, we all have difference levels of distress tolerance. We all have times when we push our limits. Reach out and talk things over with a friend, family member, or seek out a professional for additional help and/or strategies.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

Call today for a free 15 minute consultation and see if I am the right fit for your therapy needs!  980-349-8119

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TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES | 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211

PH: 980-349-8119

Investing in You! Why? Because You’re Worth It!

Posted on by under Therapy

meditation

Investing in You!  Why?  Because You’re Worth It!

It is often a hard decision first and foremost to seek help. When your finally ready to make that big step you start the process. You seek out a therapist, you ask around, maybe even do a little research. Finally you find someone you think is going to work well for you and your needs/personality/ etc. and then as you are about to book an appointment you learn, they don’t accept your insurance and to see them you will have to do private pay.

You are all about ready to pump the brakes and go another route. But wait!! Consider a few things.  Many therapists these days are moving towards private pay agreements. Co-pays and deductibles are rising every day, or at least it seems!  Also, consider that not everyone’s plan covers mental health. What happens if you are of the many?

There are many benefits to private pay, as opposed to using insurance, such as:

  • You’re not limited to who is “In Network”.

You chose your therapist!

  • You’re not restricted by length or number of sessions covered.

You decide how often! You decide how long!

  • You’re not restricted to individual sessions. Insurances, for the most part, will not cover Premarital/ Couples/ or Family therapy.

You decide who needs to be involved for change to be made!

  • You’re not required to be given a mental health diagnosis for reimbursement.

You have more control of your private health information. Your services are entirely private. You decide if it needs to be release. Your information is entirely confidential. Nothing “goes on your record.”

  • Private Pay rates can be less than some specialist/mental health co-pays!

This doesn’t fit everyone’s need or lifestyle. But many therapists today are mindful of this and offering sliding scales. You’re worth investing in and the relationships in your life are worth investing in for a brighter future!

Please let me know if your interested in services, but your current financial situation would make it difficult for you to afford my standard fee. We can talk about possible alternatives. Reduced or sliding fee schedule is available on a case-by-case basis.

Best Wishes,

Lori Torres, LMFT

Call today for a free 15 minute consultation and see if I am the right fit for your therapy needs!  980-349-8119

meditation

 

 

TOWERS COUNSELING SERVICES | 120 GREENWICH ROAD CHARLOTTE, NC 28211

PH: 980-349-8119